Unspoken Promises
by Shiney bubba
Summary: When you've been broken, betrayed, wounded and abandoned by the two people you love most...how do you deal with it when they came back into you life? (Update - chapter 2)
1. Prologue

**UNSPOKEN PROMISES**

_Autumn.___

_I can't believe it's Autumn again._

_Has a year really passed? A whole year already? It seems so surreal, a complete cycle of the seasons have gone by since that day…that one day I will never, ever be able to forget…_

_Everything that had happened, everything that was said…every single detail is engraved in my memory so deeply, I'll never be free of it. It's as clear and fresh to me as if it had only happened yesterday…_

_It should've just been like any other day, simple, ordinary…slightly dull perhaps but still pleasant and calm…_

_But it wasn't meant to be…_

_No, I will never, ever be able to, or be allowed to forget that day…_

_Or that one specific moment…___

_For it was at that moment, that I knew…_

_My life will never be the same again…_

_…And I can never be happy again…_


	2. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER ONE**

_Click._

Barely suppressing a sigh, Doumiyouji Tsukasa placed the phone back onto into hook. He leant back in his chair, and tried vainly to let the news that he had just received sink in. It was Mimasaka Akira who had called to tell him, and his voice echoed in Tsukasa's ears over and over again.

_"Rui and Tsukushi are back"_

Five short, simple words, and yet it's the simplest phrases that hits with the most impact. Just like that day, almost a year ago, two simple words were enough to shatter his world.

_"I'm sorry"_

_Sorry?!_

Did they think that would be it? Did they think that spoken apologies would be enough to redeem the harm they have caused him? It was as if they didn't even understand…

_Understand…?_

The young man glanced briefly around his luxurious bedroom. Over the luscious fittings around it, over the expensive furniture within it, over the various ornaments that adorned it… and yet seeing nothing that was of any significance to his heart.

Doumiyouji… it may be easily one of the most well-know names in the province, but to him that meant nothing. When he was younger, his parents and others around him could still convince him that money could buy happiness; as a child he had everything he asked for…it seemed almost true that having money meant you could have everything.

But then he grew up, and learnt that that was far, far from the truth. 

Trusting people was a dangerous thing to do for someone like him, it was like putting his heart on the line to be tampered with; since a very young age he's had countless numbers of people approach him, offering to be friends with him…and so many times, he had made the mistake of accepting them.

It wasn't him they were trying to befriend, it was merely that name they were looking for connection with.

As he went through grade school, high school, university…he had held only three others close enough to his heart to care, three true friends from which he knew he needn't fear such betrayal…

Soujirou, Akira, and Rui.

_Rui…_

A bitter smile crossed his lips as that familiar name passed through his mind.

_I never thought it'd be you…_

Tsukasa never even cast a serious glance at all those girls who had proclaimed their love for him, the large, countless numbers of them. He didn't ever want to. Most people dismissed his behavior as that which would be typical of such a 'rich-boy', and he'd grown used to that; he would really rather be seen as a snob, than as a fragile soul.

Fragility, a word no-one would ever dream of associating with Doumiyouji Tsukasa. 

On the surface, yes, he was a tough fighter with an anger no-one dared to spur, has always been that that way. But it's also a façade to protect what's really inside; he couldn't stand the risk of been betrayed again.

Those three knew, they were the only ones who didn't draw away from him when he gets upset or infuriated, the only ones who understood. He didn't let anyone else in. Sure there were those people he had no choice but associate with, given the stance of his family, but again, that was only the surface, he knew he had to protect himself.

It had become second nature.

And then _she_ came into his life, and everything – _everything_ – changed.

                              *                                  *                                  *

_"So that's it?" Tsukasa stared, wide-eyed with disbelief at what his best friend had just said, or at least, the person whom he once thought of as his best friend…_

_Rui lowered his head, biting his lower lip, and refused him an answer._

_"My God Rui, you just throw this at me and you expect me to just accept this?! What did you think I was gonna do?!"_

_"I…was hoping you'd be happy for me…" Rui whispered, still not meeting his eyes._

_"Happy?" It sounded like the biggest joke in the world right then, "you were hoping that I'd be happy?!"_

_"I'm so sorry…"_

_"You're unbelievable!" Tsukasa was on the verge of explosion "How the hell could you do this?! How the hell do you expect me to…to just swallow this?! Answer me!"_

_"…"_

_"Fuck you Hanazawa!"_

_Tsukasa was only inches away from punching Rui in the face, when suddenly another figure came between the two of them._

_"Doumiyouji Tsukasa! Stop this right now!"_

_At the sound of her voice, Tsukasa felt himself freeze in mid-action. He felt as if his temples were going to burst._

_"Don't blame Rui for this! It's my fault! This is my fault! If you have to punish someone let it be me!"_

_"You…you stupid woman!" was all he could manage._

_"Go ahead, would it make you feel better? If it'd make you feel better then punish me!"_

_"Tsukushi…"Rui finally spoke again, and the gentleness in his tone pierced Tsukasa's heart as if it had been a needle. That voice…_

_"Rui…" Tears filled her large brown eyes as she turned to him "Oh…Rui…"_

_"Forgive me…forgive us…" Rui's voice shook as his eyes finally locked with that of Tsukasa's, "I know you must hate me for this…"_

_"Hate?" Tsukasa choked out a laugh, "hate doesn't begin to cut it! Why Rui…why are you doing this? Why did you do this? Tell me why Rui!"_

_ But he never got an answer to that desperate question, all that came was the prolonged silence, a softly murmured plea:_

_"Forgive us…you must hate me for doing this…I know you hate me…"_

_Yes, I hate you. _

_On that day Tsukasa learnt the true feeling of loss, betrayal, and anguish…_

_ "I know you hate me…"_

_Yes I hate you._

_And all else faded, on that day…the only thing left in his world, was the sound of the beating of his own broken heart…_

_                              *                                  *                                  *_

A tear rolled down his cheek, finally breaking Tsukasa from his trance. 

It still hurt. Time could not make the pain fade, as long as the memory was still fresh in his mind, whenever he summoned it, it would hurt. And though he tried with all his will to leave that memory behind, there are things which can never, ever be forgotten. Trying will not help.

He glanced over to the phone again, recalling what Akira had told him.

_"Rui and Tsukushi are back. We just got a call from Tsukushi's parents; their flight is due in an hour…"_

_"That's got nothing to do with me"_

_Akira sighed loudly "I thought you'd feel this way…"_

_"Why the hell did you call then?"_

_"Look, it's been a year already Tsukasa, I know how much they hurt you but shouldn't you be ready to get past it now?"_

_"Go to hell Akira"_

_"It's Rui and Tsukushi, can you really shut them out of your life forever?"_

_"What I do is none of your concern"_

_"Tsukasa! It's Rui…"_

_"Shut the hell up!" he screamed into the receiver "Don't ever say that name to me ever again! Don't you dare ever mention that name to me! Ever!"_

_"Alright, alright! Sorry I disturbed you then" Akira sighed again "I'll talk to you later. Bye now"._

He stared at his phone, fighting the urge to pick it up…and he didn't even know who he wanted to dial. Akira and Soujirou would be on their way to the airport by now, who else would he talk to? His sister? What would she say? The same thing she's already said about a thousand times in the past year?

_"Grow up Tsukasa, move on!"_

Yes, that would be what someone like her would say. She was strong, she knew how to resolve her emotions…she didn't act on impulse alone. That was the one gene he wished he had inherited.

His eyes wandered to the spot beside the phone, and he felt his heart clench.

That photo frame.

How long ago was that photo taken? 

The four of them in a row, with their arms around each other's shoulders. Akira and Soujirou had ridiculously large grins on their faces.

_"Aw, come on already! Smile for the camera Tsukasa!" Tsukushi had yelled while preparing to take the photo._

_"Ch', I'll look like a fool"_

_"Well what else is new?" She laughed._

_"You…you stupid woman!" He growled._

In the end, he did manage to smile, but only that tiny, tiny hint. Anyone who didn't know him well would've thought he was pouting.

Perhaps no one knew, he reserved smiling for only one person.

Across the bottom of the picture, written in thick gold pen, were the words "F4, friends forever" in bold letters. Tsukushi had been responsible, and it was also her idea to frame it and put it there on his desk.

It all seemed like such a long time ago.

He was so happy back then, when had that all changed? He never saw it coming. Perhaps it was brewing up long before he realized it, but he was just too naïve to figure out things such as that. 

Things were so different now. 

Even the photo reflected that.

                              *                                  *                                  *

_"Where the hell are we going?!" _

_"You'll see"_

_"Goddamn this! The two of you better tell me where you're taking me or I'm gonna kill you both!"_

_"Calm down already!" Even Akira seemed to be losing his temper._

_"We're almost there, okay?" came Soujirou's voice from the driver's seat._

_It didn't take long for Tsukasa to figure out where they're headed._

_"Airport? Why?" He demanded to know._

_"If we'd told you, you wouldn't have come"_

_And he immediately understood._

_                              *                                  *                                  *_

The day they left, only a week after the terrible confession, burns in his memory. They had chosen to run away, away from him. Perhaps they thought it be for the best, perhaps they thought that sooner or later, if they just gave him enough time to accept this, he would forgive them.

They were both shocked to see him; they didn't know that he had practically been kidnapped.

_"Tsukasa…" Tsukushi had approached him tentatively when she saw him, sounding on the verge of tears and somewhat frightened._

_ "Is this what you want?" He asked her. _

_"I…"Her eyes widened, surprised as she was expecting him to blow up at them again._

_"Is this…"his eyes trailed over to Rui "really what you want?"_

_He was so tired. He didn't want to drag it out anymore._

_"Yes". She whispered, and lowered her head, fighting tears, "I'm sorry…"_

_What happened to her? When he first met her she was feisty, and she was a fighter; when had she become so fragile and easily frightened?_

_He looked at Rui, who looked back at him._

_For what seemed like forever, they stood and gazed at one another._

_Tsukasa was bleeding. He wanted to badly to ask him again why he had chosen to do this, why he had to do this; he wanted to ask how things became like this…what happened to them…_

_"Take care of her Rui". _

_A look of pain passed through Rui's large, hazy eyes at the request. He too, was bleeding. He had broken a bond. He was the cause of the destruction. Yet he could not turn back now._

_"I will"._

The calm before the storm. That could perhaps best describe Tsukasa's attitude as he watched the two figures disappear through the metal gates.

He spoke not a word to anyone from then until the time he locked himself in his bedroom, and even when he did speak it was a ferocious roar warning away anyone who dared to disturb him.

That photo frame was the first thing to be victimized. 

Across the glass now is a long, hideous crack, and it seemed be more than just coincidence alone that it's right down the center of the photo, separating Tsukasa and Rui. As soon as he had gotten home that day, he had hurled it across the room, unable to any longer contain his rage and desolation.

He had considered tearing the photo apart, but then abandoned the urge. It would take far too long for him to destroy everything that held sentiments of that sort, there was no point in starting at all.

The photo remained there, but it was not the same.

A hole had been cut, right where Rui's face originally was.

                              *                                  *                                  *

Someone was knocking at his door.

_Oh hell…_

Inwardly, Tsukasa groaned, it was probably that butler or someone sending up his lunch, but this was _so_ not the time he wanted to be disturbed.

"Go away, I'm busy"

_Busy burning myself to death with these cursed memories…_

Another knock sounded.

"Didn't you hear me say I'm busy?!"

Yet more knocking.

"Dammit!" He yelled, that fool of a butler he has was sure asking for it.

Standing up quickly, he stormed towards the door; boy, he was gonna give it to that idiot, how dare he intrude on him when it was so obvious he was in such a foul mood?

Yanking the door open, he bellowed:

"_Get out of here you_…"

And his voice caught in his throat, he couldn't breath. His eyes widened and he felt his limbs go numb. Rooted to the floor from shock, he could only stare at the figure in the doorway.

It wasn't the butler at all.

"Hanazawa…Rui…"

**TBC**

**_A/N:_ **Hi people, thank you for reading my first fanfic of Hana Yori Dango. I hope you enjoyed it so far even though I know there must be much room for improvement.

There are just a few things I thought I should clear up: 

First of all, I haven't read the HYD manga, I've only seen the Taiwanese Series Meteor Garden, and only the first series, not the second. Hence, I cannot say exactly which point in time this was supposed to happen, I may make references to some events of MG, but some 'flashbacks' may be made up. Sorry for any inconsistency with the manga, especially since the manga is still ongoing, it's even more difficult to set the time.

Also, I'm more familiar with the Chinese names of the characters, but I decided to use the Japanese ones here as more people will know them, and also because they sound weird in Chinese. If I make any mistakes, please inform me.

That's all then, hope you will review. Next chapter will be up soon!


	3. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

"Ch'…" Akira muttered as he placed his empty coffee cup down on the table "That's friendship for ya, you get all excited hearing they're coming back and go to meet them at the airport…and then they run off on you!"

Tsukushi smiled apologetically as she stirred the contents of her own cup slowly, having barely touched it, her mind was too preoccupied to deal with her drink now.

"Sorry about that…" She said after a while "I told him you guys were coming, but he said he had something urgent to go deal with"

"Urgent? Like what?"

She shrugged "He didn't mention it until we got off the plane, but he seemed kind of restless during the entire flight"

Soujirou raised an eyebrow "Rui? Restless? Seriously?"

Tsukushi nodded "Yeah, but whenever I asked him if anything was wrong he would just smile and say no, I didn't really know what else to do"

"Did he mention where he was going?" asked Akira.

Tsukushi shook her head "He just told me to wait for you guys and that he'll call me soon".

"You think he went to see…" Akira trailed off hesitantly.

A look of worry came to Tsukushi's face, that sentence didn't need to be finished for her to guess what Akira was thinking "You really think…?"

Tsukasa…

Doumiyouji Tsukasa…

She couldn't bring herself to say his name - to say _that_ name.

Though it's been a whole year since the day they left, she still couldn't shake from her memory the look on Tsukasa's face when he arrived at the airport. He seemed so tired, so drained and almost lost… she knew from the moment she made her decision that he would be hurt, but she never expected he would be hurting _that_ much…

"Is this really what you want?"

There was no anger in his voice, but somehow it frightened her more than if he had been violently raging; this wasn't the Tsukasa she had know, he wasn't suppose to be like this…he was always so sure of himself, so arrogant and brimming with confidence, and now…

What have I done to him…?

"It's very likely…I think…" Akira said "It makes no sense but it seems like something Rui would do…and they left so much hanging…"

"Then…then…" Tsukushi stuttered "I should…do you think I should go after him?"

"No" Akira and Soujirou said at once.

"But…"

"He obviously went alone for a purpose" Soujirou reasoned "He probably wouldn't want you there…"

Every time we even mention your name to Tsukasa he'd threaten to kill us…Soujirou added silently…_who knows what he may do if you suddenly show up at his door…and it'd be even worse if our guess is wrong and Rui isn't there…_

"So…" Akira abruptly changed the subject as he noticed the growing look of distress and worry on Tsukushi's face "How have things being going with you and Rui anyway?"

"Huh?" Tsukushi hadn't quite shaken herself out of her thoughts.

"You and Rui" Akira repeated "Are you married…or anything…yet?"

"Married?!" Tsukushi exclaimed in shock "No! We haven't even discussed anything like that yet!"

"Really?" Akira was surprised "After a whole year and everything you've being through?"

She sighed, and took a sip from her cup, frowning at the bitterness of the now-stone-cold coffee.

"It was never something we talked about, at first I mentioned it to him a couple of times, but only as a passing comment, but it never got anywhere, so after a while I just…didn't think about it anymore…"

At the hesitancy of her tone, the two guys exchanged a worried glance.

"But you…"Akira asked cautiously "You two are still happy together, right?"

"Happy…?" Tsukushi mulled over the word, as if she didn't quite understand what it meant "I…guess…" She finally said after a while "I mean, I should be happy, right? This was my own choice…I was…so sure that…that this is what I wanted…"

Akira felt a distinct uneasiness forming in his stomach, this was not the face or the tone of someone who was satisfied with what their have; it is obvious Tsukushi was hiding regrets. He looked over to Soujirou, and could immediately tell the other boy was thinking the same thing, but should they be correct in what they were assuming, the implications were just too awful to think about.

"Tsukushi, what are you saying?" Soujirou asked as gently as his patience would allow him "Don't you…like Rui anymore…?"

"Of course I like him!" She exclaimed "He's been so understanding of me, and so considerate…of everything, I can't begin to say how thankful I am for him"

"Thankful…" Soujirou repeated, not sounding the least bit impressed "There's more to your feelings for him than just plain gratitude, right?"

"Well…sure, I mean of course it's more!" She hastily added "How it _not_ be after I've spent a whole year with him? And just him?"

"Tsukushi…"

"No really!" She went on, not giving either boy a chance to interrupt "I mean it! After everything we've said and done…it's not like I can turn back now, Hanazawa Rui was the choice I made, and I can't turn my back on that!"

"What do you mean by 'you _can't_'?" Akira caught on her words "Is that implying that if you _could_, then you would?"

"What is that suppose to mean?!" Tsukushi cried, almost angrily "I'm not going to go back on this!"

"Calm down!" Akira held up a hand "All I'm asking is: guilt and responsibility aside, do you have any regrets?"

"Guilt?!" Tsukushi's eyes widened as she looked at Akira "What makes you say that I'm feeling guilty?"

He sighed, and restated his question "Okay, if you could turn back time, would you still have made the same choice now that you've seen the consequences?"

"I…"

She didn't understand it. She should've been able to answer that question right away with a confident "Yes", after all that's what she's told herself so many times over the past year: This was her decision, this was the right decision. But at that moment, when the question was finally asked by someone else apart from herself, her mind just went blank, and all of a sudden she didn't know what was right or wrong anymore.

"I…" She shook her head to clear it "I don't think there's any point in talking about that now, it's not as if I _can_ turn back time"

"Just hypothetically…"

"Hypothetically?!" She cut off Akira impatiently "You think 'hypothetically' is going to solve all these problems? If that was the case then no one ever has to worry about making mistakes or…" She left off abruptly with a gasp as she realized what she had said.

The three of them sat in silence for a minute as her words echoed in their minds. Tsukushi buried her face in her hands – she hadn't wanted to admit it, not even to herself; and here she had just done it to the two people closest to the two whose bond she had single-handily torn apart.

"So…it's true after all" Soujirou murmured, talking more to himself than to either of his companions.

Tsukushi didn't look up.

"We knew something was probably up…but we had been hoping we were wrong" Akira spoke up as well.

"You…knew?" Tsukushi finally peeked out between her fingers "How…how did you…"

"It was the little things…like when you or Rui would write us you'd go on about how great the weather is, or how nice a certain person you met was, or how delicious some new eating place was…but you never mentioned anything of how happy you were together…"

"Oh…"

"We figured that it would take you a while to settle down and be comfortable with what was happening" Soujirou spoke up again "But we didn't expect it to take so long…"

"Oh…" Tsukushi could manage only the single-syllable response.

"Is it still because of Tsukasa?" Soujirou asked tentatively "Do you still feel guilty about what happened?"

"I…" The guilt, no doubt, was there; but Tsukushi didn't think that was the real problem.

"Or…" Akira added, "Do you just…regret what happened altogether?"

"Regret…?" That was the one word she feared the most "I…shouldn't have any regrets…"

Akira and Soujirou waited for her to gather her thoughts in silence.

Finally, she sighed and gave up the fight.

"When we first arrived there…" She began, trying her hardest to keep her voice steady "I thought it'd be good for us, you know, to get away from everything here, it was like a new start…"

Away from Japan…

Away from Doumiyouji Tsukasa…

Away from everything and everyone connected to that name…

Away…

Away from those memories…

Away from the heartache…

How long will you keep running?

"I know things would be a little rocky at first, after all we both have issues about what we've done…but then we talked about it, and figured that…well, things will get better with time; and that maybe one day, eventually, things will go back to the way it used to be…"

It sounded like a joke at the time…

How could things possibly ever be the same again?

But there was always a part of me that held on to that hope…

I think he did too…

I think at some point we actually believed…

But that's over…

It's all over…

And it sounds even more like a joke now than ever before…

"But then…I don't know when it started exactly…but we just started growing apart somehow; I mean we lived under the same roof and spent a lot of time together, but things were getting awkward…it was as if we didn't quite know what to say to each other anymore…"

Rui…

Hanazawa Rui…

He never used to speak much…

He's practically known for his silence…

Then why…

Why did it trouble me so much?

Why did his silence, which was once so reassuring, trouble me so much?

"We soon just stopped bringing up the subject altogether, though I never stopped thinking about it…and I think he did as well; initially I thought he was avoiding the topic to spare my feelings, but soon I realized it wasn't just me…I realized it was hurting him every bit as much…"

How can he not be hurting?

What have I done?

Over two decades of friendship…

A beautiful and precious bond…

It should never have been broken…

Yet I've torn it apart…

Why did it have to happen this way?

What have I done…?

"Rui has always being a dream for me…I'm sure you know, when I used to watch him from a far I longed to be close to him more than anything else. Yet, for a whole year, a whole year of being so close to where he is, I've never felt so apart…"

There is a wall between us…

Keeping us apart…

We can't see it, but we can feel it…

We can't touch it, but we can't get past it…

I don't know what it looks like…

For it is invisible…

But I know it's name…

For it is Doumiyouji Tsukasa…

"I can't helping thinking that…perhaps Rui was always a dream, and that's just the way things were suppose to be; perhaps I should never have allowed dreams and reality to mix, maybe I never knew myself…too caught up in a little girl's fantasy, afraid of facing the challenge that was reality"

Afraid…?

Yes…

I am afraid…

Tsukushi's voice got lower and shakier as she went on, she was barely aware that she was speaking to someone, so lost in her thoughts. Images of her life during the past twelve months flashed through her mind, suddenly all the little things that didn't bother her when they happened started to make her heart ache. Rui's actions, Rui's words…she didn't understand why she was so scared, but ever since she started questioning herself, she felt like her world was caving.

"Tsukushi…"

After listening without interrupting her for so long, Akira and Soujirou felt they could no longer keep their silence.

"We know you're having doubts about whether your choice was right, but the only really important question you have to ask yourself is: Who do you love?"

"Huh?" She blink, looking lost.

"If it is Rui you feel you truly love, then you just have to keep fighting for it, and you know that eventually you'll get through…"

"Rui…" She whispered the name, her heart clenched.

"But if it's Tsukasa, then this is a mistake you have to correct now, before things get any further; otherwise it'll just keep growing worse – for all three of you"

"Tsukasa…" She covered her face again "I…I don't know!"

"Makino Tsukushi, listen to me" Akira pulled her hand away from her face and forced her to look directly at him "This isn't a joke, okay? I know you've heard me say this before but F4 was suppose to be a group that nothing could ever break, do you understand what that means?"

She stared at him with widened eyes, startled at the grimness of his tone.

"When we were younger, as you know, Rui always shut himself away, and Tsukasa already had a temper; could you ever imagine that two people as different as them could be friends? Even when I think back it seems almost absurd – but they were, and they were best of friends; even when Soujirou or myself were kept at a distance they were already close"

"I…know…" Tsukushi's voice shook. She did know all this, and it hurt like hell to know.

"Do you really?" Akira shook his head sadly "Rui never used to know how to defend himself, and Tsukasa was protective of him like crazy; and Rui was the only one who could calm Tsukasa down when he got into one of his temper tantrums…"

"I know…" She said again, tears brimming.

"But then you changed all that" Akira continued, his voice turning angry "Rui became the reason that Tsukasa was so hurt and angry, and soon Tsukasa became the one from whom Rui needed to be protected. Do you have any idea what it felt like for us the first time we witnessed Tsukasa hitting Rui? Can you possibly understand that?!"

"I…" The tears spilled over "I'm sorry!" She cried desperately "I'm so sorry! I know it's terrible what I've done, I'm sorry! I'm so…"

"Tsukushi" Soujirou interrupted, holding up a hand to stop Akira saying anything further "Understand that we're not blaming _you_ for any of this, okay? It's not like you wanted things to turn out this way, and they're both as equally at fault as you are, if not more so…but…" He sighed "We just want you to understand that, though you didn't mean to do it, you've destroyed a friendship, and it seems hopeless now that it'll ever be repaired. It is vital that you know what your choice is going to be, or else that friendship has been sacrificed for nothing; do you understand what I'm saying?"

She couldn't respond, but managed to nod once.

"We know it's horribly confusing for you now" Akira added, his tone a lot gentler than before "I didn't mean to upset you, but Soujirou's right. They gave up that friendship for something they believed would make them happy, and you know exactly what that something is"

She nodded again, a little calmer.

"So no matter how hard it is, you have to sort out your feelings; you cannot afford to make another mistake. Make things right while you can, or fight for what you believe – that's the strong, confident Makino Tsukushi we knew, you need that strength and confidence back now more than ever before"

She understood. She understood them perfectly, and suddenly things didn't seem so entrapping.

I know what I've done…

And I have to stop living in the past…

I have to be strong…

For that is who I am…

I have to make things right…

And I have to do it now before it's too late…

I have to stop feeling sorry for myself…

I have to stop running from what is inevitable…

I'm done been afraid…

I have to stand up and take hold of my own destiny…

After all…

I am Makino Tsukushi…

She looked up at her two friends, and wiped the tears from her eyes and cheeks. She swallowed a few times and stood up slowly, her head held high.

"I know what I have to do"

============

A/N: Hmm, I appear to be a very slow updater…sorry folks!;;;;;

Well, Rui and Tsukasa didn't even appear in this one, but the whole chapter revolved around them, so you can be sure they'll be in the next chapter – a LOT!

One thing I'd like to say ahead of time is that I know some people feel very strongly about one pairing or another, and while you may think you can guess which pairing will eventuate in this fic, you may still be surprised. Hence, if the pairing which I like turns out to be different from what you thought (or like), please do not be too angry. You can criticize my writing techniques all you want as long as there's a good reason to do so (yes I know the amount of italics in that chapter was overwhelming, sorry!) but please do not flame me on the basis of a pairing.

Okay, that said, I hope to reveal said pairing soon – ie, I hope the next chapter will be finished sometime this year…(;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;) See ya!

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